Finding Willie Wit’s writing is one of those great internet ebook revolution revelations. His very short stories are intensely spring-loaded and attack the reader with the sheer joy of fiction. You can find them all here. I recommend you click the link the moment you’ve finished reading this post, and start devouring those suckers. You won’t want to stop.

I managed to come up with a few interview-like questions for him. Nothing such as “where do you get your ideas?” or “one lump or two?” but a few things I genuinely would like to know about. This time I’ll just start with the questions in a bunch, and then let him rip.

1) Do you have a favorite place and/or time for people-watching and if so, where and/or when?

2) I have a sort of obsession with failure. it’s one of my favorite themes. i’d like to know about a story you have written or want to write but either haven’t been able to or haven’t been satisfied with.

3) I love all your surprise endings. you could pleasantly shock me with a story that didn’t have one, or that had a surprise beginning instead (or as well). does a surprise beginning even make any sense? none of this is actually question three. question three is, do you ever draw pictures of faces, and turn them into your characters? do you clearly imagine what they look like or is that not even a part of your way? Do you have any drawing skills? (I only wish I did)

4) Which of your characters, if any, keeps begging to appear in stories where they really don’t belong?

5) I noticed you mentioned Richard Brautigan (on your blog, I think it was). I also enjoyed his breezy sunny hippie ways way back when, when I was also very big on Kurt Vonnegut and Mark Twain. I still love all those guys, but tell me about your discovery of Brautigan. I hadn’t thought of him in ages.

6) I just thought I read a story that you might have written someday in the future. the story takes place in the mind of a circus performer, who turns out to be a bear. what is its name?

7) Somebody wrote me today, inviting me to turn one of my books into some kind of ‘interactive’ fiction-app. what the hell does that even mean?

Willie replied:

I watch people for a living, i am a `Library Attendant`, i hang round at the front door answering questions and scaring off the loonies. It`s fun but somebody has got to do it. That`s just 3 days a week, during the other days i sit in a cafe window regularily, just along from the Library. It is a perfect spot, a main drag with a junction opposite, all pedestrianised…hmmm.

I have no idea how i write my stories, they are like when somebody rings your door bell and runs away, i suddenly start scribbling and then i stop. When i look out there is nobody there.

I have a troublesome story in me funnily enough. 
It is about a woman who has procured a visit into the oval office with the help of the security services, it has taken huge amounts of secretive planning over a long time. throughout the story you will think she is to be a suicide bomber, as she is carefully strapped into clothing that is very tight, a raincoat on top hides this. When she gets into his office she throws the raincoat on the floor, revealing a floaty white dress, bright red lipstick… and starts to sing ….Happy Birthday Mr President… 
It is stuck in my head like a bit of chewing gum on my ribs at the moment tho`. It is the only story i cannot write.. because i have thought about it.

I was an engineer once so my drawing skills are very technical based, it used to be really cool to think in 3d but computers have spoiled all that nowadays.

When i was 18 punk rock came to town and i ran away from the circus. i became friends with a cool band called `crass`. 
They were ex hippy turned barmy anarchists, all noise and bother. Strangely the people in the band were the kindest and most gentle i had ever met, i started to get to know them, helping them at gigs as they did it all themselves. They were a goldmine of interesting stuff, being older and totally unconventional. I live in an area where culture never happens, a bermuda triangle bordered by Liverpool,Manchester and Birmingham, it all passes us by. We did great for music but not ideas and books.
At a gig Annie Anxiety asked me if i had ever read Jack Kerouac, i told i hadn`t read anything yet. So i read him and within a fortnight i was off hitch hiking to Paris – with a two week dole cheque in my pocket. I returned a month later to find everything the same…but i certainly wasn`t. 
One person in the band introduced me to Richard Brautigan, `Joy de Vivre` She is a hugely talented writer and artist who luckily for her was never discovered. She would have hated the money and hassle that came to JKR. So for a decade i raged around Britain and Europe, never really believing in an impending revolution but having a great time meeting people and having fun. 
So Brautigan was helping me along the windy zen loony road, i suffered from youthful depression at that time ( caused by a wheat intolerance i now know) One defining moment was on a bus back from London, I was reading `Sombrero Fallout` with my brain feeling like fog. Suddenly a window opened in me and light flooded in, his writing was the magic key. 
I nearly drove myself crazy the other week when i suddenly remembered him after so long, then i promptly forgot him, this then driving me even crazier.

That bear eludes me, i keep thinking of fozzie – having gone off the rails, boozing. Kermit having been abducted by a french restaurant… sadly now in a wheelchair.

interactive is when you get a choice of endings, not half as much fun a stories that don`t have an ending, or one that surprises. They are the bollocks i think.

Do you know of Alan Hutcheson ? he lives in the UofSA, we have adopted him here on the Amazon forum, he is a sweet and funny man who wrote a great book called `Boomerang` I just had an idea… the `bermuda triangle` interviews…hmmm. sounds sweet in my head.